“I could run away from home someday,” I told Mom contemplatively when I was six years old. (I was not upset, we had just read a book about children who run away from home and live in a museum.) “No,” she replied in a matter-of-fact tone, “You’re not allowed.”

“Oh,” I said disappointedly. That was the end of my plan to run away.

Laugh if you want, but I was born a rule-follower and a perfectionist. I find comfort rather than restriction in rules, criteria, and detailed instructions because they tell me what is expected.

Imagine my trepidation, then, when the professor of my advanced composition class announced that our final paper would have no assigned format, subject, or length! He suggested using a subject, style, or other idea from something we had been reading for another class or for fun and to “make it as long as it needs to be.” The only book I was reading for fun was about the longing that many girls have to be a princess and how that fits into a relationship with Christ. I really did not want to choose a subject so personal for a class where my writing would be critiqued and graded, but none of my class readings sparked any ideas.

The day for subject proposals came and I still had no other ideas, so I cautiously told the professor that I intended to write about the way I always wanted to be a princess when I was little. His response surprised me, “That sounds great! I overheard my four-year-old daughter talking to my son a couple weeks ago and she was saying, “I’m a princess, Colin. No, I really am!“”

My own princess story flowed onto paper, but I got stuck on how to end it. My first idea was something like this:

Somewhere along the way, I grew up and realized that not every girl gets to be a princess. In fact, very few are true princesses. I left the childhood dreams of fairy tales and princesses behind; what I thought could be faded into nothing more than pleasant memories.

My inner editor nearly screeched, “Seriously? That’s depressing, you can’t end it that way! Besides, it isn’t true.”

I tried again:

Years later, I began to understand that the character qualities of a princess were what I admired the most. To my surprise, I found that those same traits of kindness, adventure, and grace were growing in my life, too.

The inner editor rolled her eyes. “Why are you wasting time on this? You know how it’s supposed to end.”

I sighed… and then wrote the end the right way.

On critique day, when the professor critiqued parts of our essays in front of the class, I actually hoped that he would give me something, anything, that I could improve or correct before submitting the final copy. To my chagrin, he only pointed out positive features like the introduction and word choice. “Oh, well,” I thought, “At least he’ll put us into groups and we can give feedback on each other’s drafts.” Then he announced that we should review and edit our own drafts instead of working in groups! (Have I mentioned that I crave structure and instruction?)

I panicked just a little and asked no less than three friends to read and critique the essay. They offered a few minor suggestions, but I was still nervous the day we submitted our essays.

To be continued…

I do not especially care for chocolate but one of my coworkers loves it and we brought snacks on Thursday for her last day before transferring to another state. I decided to try my sister’s Mocha Layer Cake recipe for the occasion. It took me about 2.5 hours because I did not really know what I was doing. To remedy that, I have written notes to myself for the next time I make this dessert.

Step 1: Mix and bake the Mocha Cake.

Step 2: Slice off the rounded tops of the layers so that they will lay flat. Taste the excess cake and think, “It tastes like chocolate cake with coffee so I suppose it is okay.” Keep going.

Step 3: Sprinkle semi-sweet chocolate chips on each layer. When they melt, spread them around.

Step 4: Put the layers in the freezer and start the Mocha Frosting. Realize that you do not have a sifter for the powdered sugar and wonder if a tea strainer ball will work. Learn that the tea strainer will adequately sift the sugar but it is much messier and takes a whole lot longer!

Step 5: Mix the Mocha Frosting. Taste the frosting and wonder, “Does this taste right? I don’t even like frosting. I have no idea.” Keep going.

Step 6: Frost the Mocha Cake. Sigh when the frosting does  not want to stick to the cake. Slather on far more frosting that you would ever want to eat on a cake, even if it was not chocolate. Remember that you intended to never make this cake again. Keep going.

Step 7: Melt semi-sweet chocolate chips and mix with coffee. Drizzle over the cake. Think, “That looks pretty, but I now find very thought of chocolate completely nauseating after smelling it for so long.”

Step 8: Take the cake to work and delight your chocoholic coworkers who think it is delicious.

I am glad I tried this recipe and I will probably never make it again. I enjoyed the process except for the scent of chocolate, but I think that it is far too much work for a dessert that I do not even enjoy.

The ground floor of my apartment is drafty, so it gets chilly in the winter and I like to cluster candles on a low console to add a warm glow to my living room. What do you do to warm up in the winter?

On a sunny June day several years ago, six friends and I arrived in Heng Yang, China, to teach English and participate in a cultural exchange program for the summer. The next day, an American student took a few of us for a tour of the university grounds. As we walked through one of the courtyards, we saw an oral English class taking photos with their teacher. One of the students who knew our guide came over to greet him and within a few minutes we were surrounded by Chinese students who were eager to meet us and to practice their English.

At first I was surprised and a little intimidated as they peppered us with questions about America, our families, and our hobbies. The students spoke softly and it was sometimes difficult to understand them, so I learned to listen carefully and to repeat part of the question back to them to be sure that I heard correctly and to give myself a moment to phrase my answer.

As their questions slowed, I asked them questions, too. For example, one girl asked, “And what about your family?” I responded, “My family?” and continued after seeing her nod, “I have two brothers and one sister. Do you have brothers or sisters?” Although it was overwhelming at first, that experience was a delightful welcome and helped me be a little more at ease when we went to our first classes a couple days later.

During the nine-week visit, there were times that I felt like a celebrity or an oddity because people would often stare at us across restaurants or stores and would sometimes walk up to introduce themselves and practice their English. Once or twice, small children would see us walking down the street and cling to their mothers, frightened because they had never seen anyone who was not Chinese. At times like those, I felt very conspicuous and awkward for being blonde, fair-skinned, and five inches taller than the average Chinese adult. (When my mom saw photos from the summer, she commented that I looked like “a blonde Amazon girl” standing with the students!) Sometimes I wished that I could blend in as I did at home.

As we visited English classes and helped teach lessons, we were asked all sorts of questions and were expected to be different than the students who were conversing with us. I did not perceive pressure to conform to their attitudes or ideas, but chose to be sensitive to them because I wanted to relate well to the students. Because I learned that they value family highly, I often mentioned my own with sincere fondness. Because honor and “face” are important in their culture, I liked to see the delighted expressions when I told them specifically what I liked about China and about Heng Yang.

The idea of honoring others and always giving them a way to save face is one that made a lasting impression on my behavior. I think that I have been able to cooperate and get along well with others here in the U.S. because I learned that it is more important for us both to save face than for me to win an argument or discussion and embarrass the other person in the process. Furthermore, because I found the students’ friendliness and curiosity so welcoming, I try to do the same when meeting people from other countries in the U.S.

How do you interact with people from cultures that are different from yours? I would love to hear your stories and advice!

I have only been listening to Christmas music for two weeks and some of the songs are already starting to become annoying. My least favorite is “The Christmas Song”, no matter who sings it.

In high school, however, we sang that particular song with… non-traditional lyrics. I looked for our version online but have not been able to find it, so this is the way I remember the words. If you know where it originated, please let me know!

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost picking at your nose
A mule named Carol being flung on the fire
And folks dressed up like twinkletoes
Everybody knows some turkey stole the mistletoe
And now there’s gonna be a fight
Tiny tots with their eyes full of coal
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that Santa’s made of clay
He’s gonna run some people over with his sleigh
And every mother’s child is gonna cry
To hear that Rudolph was baked for Christmas pie
And so I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it’s been said many times, many ways
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
The early bird gets the worm.

Do you have amusing lyrics to classic Christmas songs? Christmas songs that irritate you? Tell me what they are!

Edit: I found a version of these lyrics in a Youth Specialties book.

Subtitle: What My Professor Thinks About What I Think About Success

I received full credit on my writing assignment on my definition of success.  Here are my instructor’s comments:

* You have responded well to the questions. * Your definition of success is based on your relationship to God. What about other areas of your life? Do you look for success in the areas of family, work, society, etc,? *

Sarah crouched in the garden and the summer breeze ruffled her short blonde hair as she scooped out a small hole in the damp dirt with her right hand.  The petite four-year-old opened her left hand and carefully placed a single Cheerio in the hole.  She studied it for a moment before burying the small piece of cereal in the dark soil.  For good measure, she planted two more Cheerios nearby.  She liked to help Daddy in the garden, so planting was nothing new.  These particular seeds were new, though.  Unbeknownst to their father, Sarah’s older sister, Beth, had informed her that Cheerios are actually doughnut seeds and grow into doughnut trees when planted.

Days after the planting, Sarah returned to her future doughnut orchard and saw nothing growing above the ground, so she dug up the Cheerios to look for sprouts.  Sarah’s disappointment and disillusionment at being duped by a devious six-year-old left a lasting impression on her.  She became a little more skeptical and, together with Beth, began to test what they were told.  Since they saw a plethora of claims and promises on television commercials, started trying them out over the course of several years.

First, Sarah and Beth decided to test a paper towel commercial that depicts two rolls of paper towels falling into a swimming pool and absorbing all the water, leaving children sitting on the dry bottom. Since they did not have a pool, the girls filled the bathtub and tossed in two rolls of paper towels. To their disappointment, the rolls just got wet without soaking up much water and Mama scolded them for wasting paper towels.

Then the girls saw a commercial claiming that Vaseline protects baby bottoms from wetness so well that a sieve coated with it will hold water. They coated Mama’s sieve with Vaseline and were thoroughly impressed to find out that it actually did hold water. Sarah and Beth carefully wiped the goop off the sieve, so they never could figure out how Mama knew it was them!

Later, the sisters saw a shampoo commercial where a pearl dropped into a Prell shampoo bottle falls slowly because the fluid is so thick and rich. They did not have any pearls, so Sarah and Beth took turns dropping marbles into the shampoo bottle while the other watched from the side. To their delight, the marbles did fall slowly through their bottle of luxurious Prell. As an added bonus, what was a half-empty shampoo bottle was magically full again when they finished the experiment. Daddy was less impressed, however, and yelled loudly from the shower when he tried to wash his hair with a handful of soapy marbles.

They also watched a fascinating commercial showing that the cotton is attached to Q-tips so tightly that it can hold up a baby in a special carrying harness. The girls did not have a baby or a harness, but Beth came up with an ingenious plan and took her younger siblings to stand on Daddy and Mama’s bed. She ordered their little brother, Perry, to hold onto the end of a Q-tip while Sarah held the other end, then she pushed Perry off the bed. Unfortunately, the results of the experiment were inconclusive – even with repeated attempts – because Perry let go of the Q-tip every time Beth pushed him off the bed.

Decades later, Sarah still tries things out to see if they are true and she has great empathy for the apostle Thomas who did not believe that Jesus came back from the dead. “His name, Thomas (or Didymus), means ‘another one’ or ‘ditto,’ so you know he was a younger brother. His older brothers probably made him plant a doughnut tree, too! Then they say, ‘Hey, we saw Jesus alive’ Do you think he’s going to believe that? I don’t think so!”

Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true. Acts 17:11 NIV

I like lists, I like plans, and I like knowing what is going on. Flexibility and spontaneity are difficult for me, so I usually have to plan to do them. (Yes, I know that’s ironic and contradictory.) This year, God is training me to be more spontaneous and flexible by making me take a bigger leadership role in the campus ministry that I volunteer in. If you didn’t already know, college students rarely follow anyone else’s schedules, plans, or lists!

Case in point, this weekend we are going to an amazing fall conference for Christian Challenge students from all over Kansas and Nebraska. We had five students sign up to go and three “maybes,” but it turned out that none of the maybes could go. We submitted our numbers on Monday and then added another girl at our Monday night Bible study. Early this afternoon, I received a text message, “Hey if it too late for michael to come this weekend? He didnt sign up.” My first thought was, “Of course it isn’t too late, we want people to come!”

I love getting to know these free-spirited, enthusiastic, options-wide-open younger “siblings” that always become dear to me. It seems that most of the time, God teaches me more from them than they could possibly be learning from me. God keeps me on my toes and challenges me to embrace each unplanned opportunity with a similar enthusiasm!

I am taking an online class in cross-cultural communication and it has been fascinating to discuss approaches for interacting with people from different backgrounds. I laughed, though, when I read the first question for this week’s homework assignment: Clearly define what it means for you to be “successful” in life. What are your criteria for evaluating your level of success?

I thought, “Okay, if she really wants to know, I’m going to be completely honest and not just spout off what American culture says.” This is what I wrote:

I define success in my life based on my relationship to God and to other people. My primary criterion of success is my love for God. I measure my love for Him by my obedience to His commands (Bible, John 14:15). If I obey Him perfectly, I am successful. My secondary criterion is my interaction with and perception of other people. I must view and treat them all as people who are precious to God, not trying to change who they are but encouraging and helping them in their quest for improvement and growth (Bible, Hebrews 10:23-24). If I can encourage and help one person to improve and grow, I am successful in that instance.

Hey, she asked.

It is a chilly March morning outside the McKenna residence. The wind rattles leaves in a corner of the yard and swings a knotted rope that is tied to a tree. Along with two friends, the spunky, green-eyed five-year-old Taylor McKenna is having fantastic adventures in her backyard. They are pirates, explorers, anything that requires boldness, daring and agility. In a burst of thrilling inspiration, Taylor catches the swaying rope and scampers up the tree. Perched nine feet above her friends, Taylor calls, “Matt, Jen, watch this!” Commanding their full attention, she clenches a knot between her teeth and jumps.

Mrs. McKenna has just put away the breakfast dishes when her young daughter bursts through the door, bleeding and crying. After calming Taylor and cleaning her mouth, the unalarmed mother pieces together the events that have transpired.

One of Taylor’s front teeth is now missing and another is very loose, so Mrs. McKenna schedules an emergency dental visit. The “Grandpa Dentist,” as Taylor calls him, talks to her about the importance of teeth and how to use them properly. After setting her mind at ease, he goes on to tell Mrs. McKenna how to detect possible abscesses and infections. Taylor is fairly quiet during the visit.

On the drive home, she finally pipes up. “Mom, I just don’t understand something.”

Expecting a question about what the dentist said, her mother replies, “What’s that, Sugar?”

“Well… this never happened before!”

Flabbergasted, Mrs. McKenna could only say, “Are you going to do it again?”

With an incredulous little laugh, Taylor said, “Well, no, Mom. I don’t have any teef!”

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