Practical Adventure

On a sunny June day several years ago, six friends and I arrived in Heng Yang, China, to teach English and participate in a cultural exchange program for the summer. The next day, an American student took a few of us for a tour of the university grounds. As we walked through one of the courtyards, we saw an oral English class taking photos with their teacher. One of the students who knew our guide came over to greet him and within a few minutes we were surrounded by Chinese students who were eager to meet us and to practice their English.

At first I was surprised and a little intimidated as they peppered us with questions about America, our families, and our hobbies. The students spoke softly and it was sometimes difficult to understand them, so I learned to listen carefully and to repeat part of the question back to them to be sure that I heard correctly and to give myself a moment to phrase my answer.

As their questions slowed, I asked them questions, too. For example, one girl asked, “And what about your family?” I responded, “My family?” and continued after seeing her nod, “I have two brothers and one sister. Do you have brothers or sisters?” Although it was overwhelming at first, that experience was a delightful welcome and helped me be a little more at ease when we went to our first classes a couple days later.

During the nine-week visit, there were times that I felt like a celebrity or an oddity because people would often stare at us across restaurants or stores and would sometimes walk up to introduce themselves and practice their English. Once or twice, small children would see us walking down the street and cling to their mothers, frightened because they had never seen anyone who was not Chinese. At times like those, I felt very conspicuous and awkward for being blonde, fair-skinned, and five inches taller than the average Chinese adult. (When my mom saw photos from the summer, she commented that I looked like “a blonde Amazon girl” standing with the students!) Sometimes I wished that I could blend in as I did at home.

As we visited English classes and helped teach lessons, we were asked all sorts of questions and were expected to be different than the students who were conversing with us. I did not perceive pressure to conform to their attitudes or ideas, but chose to be sensitive to them because I wanted to relate well to the students. Because I learned that they value family highly, I often mentioned my own with sincere fondness. Because honor and “face” are important in their culture, I liked to see the delighted expressions when I told them specifically what I liked about China and about Heng Yang.

The idea of honoring others and always giving them a way to save face is one that made a lasting impression on my behavior. I think that I have been able to cooperate and get along well with others here in the U.S. because I learned that it is more important for us both to save face than for me to win an argument or discussion and embarrass the other person in the process. Furthermore, because I found the students’ friendliness and curiosity so welcoming, I try to do the same when meeting people from other countries in the U.S.

How do you interact with people from cultures that are different from yours? I would love to hear your stories and advice!